Well I have fallen so behind. I really am going to try and catch up soon. I still have like 15 entries to make before I finally get on track. I think I will get it done tomorrow and tuesday before school starts back up. Past couple days I have been trying to find a balance in my life. It's been really hard to target...and i think i know why. I have lost so much trust in myself, self esteem has dropped quite far, and then I look beyond myself and see so many of my friends taking gigantic strides forward every day while I see myself as stagnant as ever. I want so much to be free again; free from emotional strife, physical destruction. All in all, I just want to have the balance I used to have. Entry 37:
Deep within the shadows of my soul
I know There is a light I used to know
But somehow it has hidden itself from me
And I'm not so sure what it will be
When I finally can embrace it and hold
I'm struggling to find the words to express
All the troubles and strife and overwhelming stress
That I can't seem to make go away
In this time of my life i'm living
There is so much I should be giving
but my heart is having trouble beating
With the hurting pain that' i've been getting
I know it's an excuse
and that in turn it's mine to choose
So now my choice will be this:
Nothing can make me choose to quit.
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